Saturday, August 18, 2007

Mosquito Bite? Sure Cure for Bug Bites

Bug season is in full swing, and with it the nasty itch that comes with being bitten or stung. I have discovered the absolute best instant cure for the mosquito itches and nasty bumps.

The night before I left Merida to catch the Vancouver connector in Mexico City was really hot and humid. The hotel room had a rickety, noisy a/c unit but I was desperate for some cool air. I turned the thing on - standing on a chair so I could reach the dial. While I was cooling off I decided to check out the photos on my digital camera, sorting, deleting fuzzy pics, etc. After a few minutes my ankle started to itch, then a shin, then the other foot. Eek...all of a sudden there were about 42 giant mosquitoes hovering around my legs. My guess is they probably bred in the water that pooled in the bottom of the a/c and got blown into the room. Sneaky devils. They stayed at floor level and were hiding under the bed, camouflaged and armed with huge stingers.

The bites were really nasty, swelling up into big red, itchy, itchy itchy bumps as I watched. I was in a panic because I had no calamine lotion and had no intention of wandering around a strange neighbourhood at that time of night looking for a drugstore. But the itching was making me crazy so I went through all the products in my bags. I thought about whether toothpaste would work, or even my deodorant. Then I read the ingredients on the travel-sized hair spray bottle. Hmmm...denatured alcohol... Well, that should clean things up and cool things down. And papaya...I know that's a natural tenderizer. Good enough. Didn't read the rest...no bloody time! You never know what those foreign mosquitoes were carrying. Not like civilized Canadian mozzies...didn't even have the decency to make loud buzzing noises in my ears as fair warning of a possible preeminent attack. Bastards!

So I sprayed each and every swelling bite with Down Under Naturals hairspray. And no word of a lie, the stuff was almost instant relief. Within seconds the itching stopped. So I turned off the a/c and spent the next 15 minutes running around like a madwoman chasing and killing every mosquito in the room. When I woke up the next morning, all the bumps were gone, no itch and couldn't even see any bite marks. A miracle!

This is probably the discovery of the century, folks. So, kudos to Belvedere International of Canada. Not only do they make really good hairspray, their Down Under Naturals Extra Flexible Spray with Frulix (whatever the hell that is) is the best thing ever for insect bites. All you campers and travelers everywhere, except Antarctica maybe, stock up on that little green bottle with the koalas on the label. And trust me, a little squirt goes a long way.
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